Forget those so-called superfoods so popular at New Year. The Diary has discovered the world’s first mega food.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the the Battered Creme Egg.

Tantalising mounds of sugar and chocolate delicately dipped into the finest batter and deep fried in boiling oil, this delicacy is enough to give any nutritionist within a five-mile radius of Drakes Fisheries a coronary.

The notice on the window of the Low Petergate chippie declared that the “Battered Creme Egg is back!”, featuring a larger than life Cadburys Creme Egg.

Well, it is nearly Easter.

Two questions. Will the deep fried version still prove popular after creme egg maker Mondelez confessed it no longer uses Cadbury’s milk chocolate? That has led to a Save The Creme Egg campaign.

And what about a bit of local pride – where’s our Battered Chunky KitKat?

YorkMix co-founder Richard McDougall has been having a few troubles with his Macbook laptop lately.

So he tried a complete reinstall. But the message that came on the screen wasn’t massively encouraging…

How long?
How long?

A friend of Richard’s calculated that the process would be finished in about 75,377 years. As he said, “Looks like I’ve time to run a bath…”